Feel's Like Forever.

It feel's like we have been here forever. Like are life is here, When we moved I promised myself I would never call here "home". The more I think about it this really is are home. WE have made a family here. I think we call it are home is because of what we have been trough here. We have made some mistakes here. Well I know I have. I don't know if everyone else has I just think they would have.

With my dad gone we have been "changing" a lot. My mom told my dad on Skype that I'm not the girl has when he left.
Now I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. I hope it's good. I feel like I've become my own person. Which may not be a good thing. I feel like I'm fighting by myself. It is very hard for me.
I just feel like my mom isn't really there for me. Like this.

I wasn't acting myself. My mom knew there was something up. So she get my youth leader to take me out and see whats up. OK well I'm happy I got to talk to my leader but I would have loved it if my mom would have asked me herself.
My mom hasn't been the same with my dad gone. She is just always busy with meeting and her job and friends. There just isn't any room for family. When I post this she is going to probably get mad at me, But she did say this blog is where we are free to put are feelings. Well mamma this is how I feel.

Still Going...

We are still going . I don't know if we are going strong or not. We are doing good so far.
It is very hard. We have been trough a lot. We have become stronger. We have made a few good friends and a few enemy's along the way. We have kept in touch with are dad.
Friends have helped a lot. I always thought I had to change to have "good" friends. I was wrong I've been working on being my self, Speaking my mind. Some don't like that... Some do.

My youth leaders have seen me "grow up" "get stronger".
I love my youth. They have helped me trough a lot.

Being strong

Being Strong is hard. There are allot of thing that make it easier. Like music. Now you are probably thinking how does music make it easier. Well country music help's me relax. It bring me back to my root's. Well I didn't really live in the country. I lived in NC. I lived there for 8year's. We were at church and they prayed for NC because some tornadoes hit NC. My friend turned to me and said I used to live there. I asked how long she said 2year's well in the Army life that's a long time. I said I lived there two but for 8 year's. She was like wow :O. There is a person I talk to allot well two people. One is a Boy and one is Girl.. We are all good friends :D. When I was little I would watch Disney and in The movies there were always The main star usually a Girl and she had a friend that was a girl and one that was a boy. I always giggled because that could never happen. Apparently I was wrong. I'm not sad I was I'm Actually happy. The only sad thing is that the girl is moving soon. Me and her just got really good friend's And now she has to move. Every one is like that's the Army life. I know that but still. Like I said I HATE the Army life.

Dissection

Me, Techie and Skippy all went and dissected a pig today! I know most people wouldn't be excited about that kind of stuff and I wasn't to excited ether. It was cool , gross and weird all at the same time. We cut open the pig and felt all of the inside and we cut off the head and stuff like that.

Paper

As most of you know I'm home schooled. I had such a good idea my mom said it was good. I said we should wright a paper. I'm have been home school ever since preschool so I have never rote a paper before. I am thinking about doing it on Julius Caesar or Martin Luther King Jr. I like them both. I do like Martin better but I do like Julius two. I'm asking all my friend's what I should do.

UGH

Time is tick, tick, ticking away...

Kids and I are great,  moving through life just fine. Hanging out, cleaning house, doing laundry. We know that in 3 days there is going to be a huge hole in the house, but we are plugging along. We have all had time with GI Jack on our own in the last couple of weeks.

I pitch a little internal hissy last night. I just hate that this is happening. But I know that it is a part of the process and we are going to make it through. The kids and I are looking forward to a trip to FL in a couple of weeks. I am hoping that the sun and the sand can just lighten our hearts a little bit.

I stepped down as an FRG Leader today. Yeah, 3 days before they leave for a month of training, but right now I know that they FRG is in great hands and I really just want to focus on my kids. Just where I am.

Today, I am thankful for warm temps in early March, the sunshine, and my family.

I'm Thankful for.....

I'm Thankful for my Daddy that takes me out to sonic for a date.